A Bad Case of Laurinaitis

Dealing with Laurinaitis feels a lot different than what I have felt in the past watching The Ohio State University climb the polls. That got me thinking that I hadn’t felt this way since four years ago when I came down with Krenzel fever. Comparing the two seasons reveals some shocking similarities.
Lets take a look at a couple of marquee positions and statistics between this year’s Buckeyes and the 03’ Fiesta Bowl National Championship team.

Preseason Ranking:
2002 Buckeyes: 13
2007 Buckeyes: 11
Quarterback:
2002- Craig Krenzel:
Games: 14 Completions: 148/249 Yards: 2110 Touchdowns: 12 INT: 7 Rushes: 128 for 368 yards and 3 TDs
2007: Todd Boeckman (Through 9 Games):
Games: 9 Completions: 139/209 Yards: 1799 Touchdowns: 21 INT: 8 Rushes: 25 for -19 and 0 Touchdowns
Projected: Completions: 185/279 Yards: 2399 Touchdowns: 28 INT: 11

Both quarterbacks have been blessed and the curses with being just “good enough”. They didn’t and won’t be even mentioned for a Heisman, never get recognition as a top QB, and yet they put up W’s. Also, who knew Krenzel was so nimble on his feet?

Running Back:
2002: Maurice Clarett (True FR)
Games: 11 Rushes: 222 Yards: 1237 Average: 5.6 TD: 16 Convictions: 3 Jail Time: 3 ½ Years ( Starting Sept 2006)
2007: Beanie Wells (SO)
Games: 9 Rushes: 174 Yards: 996 Average: 5.7 TD: 7
Projected: Rushes: 232 Yards: 1328 Average: 5.7 TD: 9

Extremely similar in attempts and average, appears Boeckman maybe be taking more shots at the end zone than Krenzel, lowering Beanie’s chances to grind it out on the ground for six.

Defensive Standouts:
2002: CB: Chris Gamble: 1st Round Pick (28) To The Panthers
SS: Mike Doss : 2nd Round Pick (58) To The Colts Currently with the Vikings
Notable: Back Up Linebackers: A.J. Hawk (Green Bay Packers) and Bobby Carpenter ( Round 1 Pick (18) Dallas Cowboys)
2007:
LB: James Laurinaitis
2007 Preseason Big Ten Player of the Year
2006 Bronko Nagurski Award (Nations Best Defensive Player)

Lineage: Bred from savages, his father and two uncles are former WWE wrestlers. His uncle John is better know as “Johnny Ace”. His Uncle Marcus is the infamous “The Terminator” from the tag team duo known as The Wrecking Crew. Most importantly though is his Father Joe, but we all know and love him as “Animal” from the superior tag team of The Road Warriors.

This defensive squad has held opponents to a mere 8 points a game, and hasn’t allowed more than 17 all season. Note: Penn State and Michigan State both put up 17, but MSU’s two touchdowns came off of a pick 6 and fumble return on back to back plays towards the end of the game. Similarly, the 2002 squad gave up 21 in their first game against Texas Tech, their highest of the season until giving up 24 in double OT of the Championship game in which Miami was favored by more than 11 1/2. Laurinaitis’s defensive group has lifted their team to #1 by the play of numerous other standouts, but honestly how do you follow up Animal’s son. All and all Ohio State has beaten everyone’s expectations and has proven that they are deserving of a #1 seed. With three games left ( Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan) they still have some obstacles ahead of them, but if they win out there is no doubt stake a legitimate claim at a BCS title game shot come January.

And Remember…
You don’t Catch Laurinaitis, It Catches You

4Real Out
More after the jump...

Holy Lord

I think i remember an SAT question related to this...

Analogys:

Football Team is to Cheerleader as...

a) Ohio State is to Penn State
b) Hawaii is to NMSU
c) WVU is to Rutgers
d) New England is to Washington

it's a toughy, considering it all involves someone getting completely owned...apologies to my buddy BA who plays for NMSU
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Genarlow Wilson

For those of you who do not know the story of Genarlow Wilson, look it up for the background. For those of you who do I'm posting this link:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=genarlowfree&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1

It is an article about Genarlow Wilson's first days out of prison, and if it doesn't give you chills at some point, I'm at a loss of words for you. Think about what position this guy was in, a young, popular, star football player caught fooling around with a girl 2 years younger than him (17 and 15 years old respectively) and because of three reasons:

an obscure law against oral sex

the fact that the law was repealed after his case brought so much attention to it, but was not retroactively enacted

the love for his younger sister and admitting guilt meant he could never see her again or live in the same house

because of these reasons he spent almost 3 years in jail. He was an all state DB, shut down Calvin Johnson back in the day. Had a very bright future, taken from him with a 10 year sex offender jail term. It took almost 3 years and countless appeals and on his last shot, a long shot, he was released from prison. ESPN gets a huge credit for this, they broght the case and the injustice into the light for people who rose up and voiced their opinion to let him out. Hopefully for him he can get back that speed and mind for the game so he can go to school and right a very big wrong and make a name for himself. He recently stated that he felt he needed to go to these schools to get the education and become successful to thank those people who put their reputation on the line. I think, personally, his never give up, the odds are never too high, and his love for his family are traits that make me proud of him, and I don't even know him.

Genarlow Wilson, congratulations, you have done something to make many proud, you fought the law, and rising, at times insurmountable odds, and you won. You make many of us realize it's never too late, and some things are worth fighting for. And to BJ Bernstein, you too deserve a congratulations and a job well done.
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Weekend Picks (delayed)

Well my weekend has started off just fantastic. I mean that literally, Boston College beat VaTech in a dull game up until the last 5 minutes. Matt Ryan keeps his Heisman hopes alive and my initials are glorified nation-wide. Anyways in hopes of keeping with this my pool will survive this week...

The Big Contenders
Oregon over USC-Dennis Dixon is too much for the USC defense right now, and I applaud the decline. Jonathan Stewart has almost 1000 yards rushing this year, and he's gonna get nasty on USC. Along side Stewart is Colvin, Dickson, and Williams throwing up over 1000 recieving yards combine for this year. Let's not forget the fact that Arizona put up 13 points on this "Pete Carroll" defense...and Stanford put up 24. Trojan Horse defeat thee, cocky bastards

South Florida over UConn - South Florida is pissed about their loss last week, Grothe is a certified badass. UConn also has yet to play a real team...and win.

Cal over AZst- After a two game skid, Cal is an actual program that bounces back correctly. They won't kick Longshore out of the starting spot, fire their coach, and bring in a historical cheater. Then again, I hate ASU and again, they haven't played the top half of the Pac-10. Stop blowing smoke up their ass.

Upset
NCState over UVA - the spread is 3.0 points, NCState has yet to win a game in conference and they've had a NASTY schedule, where UVA has had a middle of the road schedule and with UVA's depressing win margin at 4 points, the Wolfpack actually have a shot.

For Sunday...

Panthers over Colts - It's a stretch, but there's a chance. With Harrison out, Panthers coming off a bye week, A veteran veteran at the helm, there's a damn good chance here.

World Series? Don't really care now...

I leave you with... The last drive of the Boston College game

More after the jump...

Perspective

This is a short one, just for the thought provoking purposes:

Devin Hester, arguably the best return man in the game and definitely one of the most dangerous players on the field. In the 2006 season, he scored on 6 returns, the rest of the NFL combined for 18. Here's the math to make it easy for you, Hester scored 1/4 of all kick/punt/FG returns last season out of the entire NFL. Plus he tacked one on in the Super Bowl giving him 7 total returns for his Rookie season. The record holder of most career return touchdowns: 13 Brian Mitchell in 13 seasons. Hester was past halfway there after one season in the NFL. He's already tacked on 3 more this season (73 yard punt return vs. the Chiefs, 97 yard kick return vs. the Lions, and an 89 yard punt return vs. the Vikes)that's 9 regular season and 10 total in less than 2 seasons. And he's on pace to get 8 this season alone scoring one every other week so far. Not to mention he is quickly becoming an offensive threat.

A look at his Rookie season Highlights:
Tied (teammate Nathan Vasher's record) 108 yard FG return for the longest play and return in NFL history
Most TD returns in a regular season (6)
Most TD returns in a season (6)
Most TD returns in a regular season as a Rookie (6)
Most TD returns in a season as a Rookie (7)
Most TD returns in one game (2) *Tied with 5 others
Also set Team records for most kick return yards in a game (225), most punt return yards in a game (152), and punt return yards in a season (518)

He also changed the game, teams are drafting returners now look at Miami picking Ted Ginn, Jr. with the 9th overall pick and Cam Cameron defending his pick (over Brady Quinn who most thought was going in that spot) by saying that Ginn would be a great return man in the NFL.... What, a top ten pick for a guy who will handle the ball maybe 5 times in a game. Quite a difference a year makes, or rather a player.

Oh, and he's the first and only player with a 100 rating in any statistical Madden Category.
More after the jump...

The "Blue Wave"

God the 80s were sweet...digging this bad boy out of the vault...
More after the jump...

Counterpoint...

I hate to argue or debate, especially on a topic as low to me as this but, I cannot, by any way in my being root for the Rockies. And this is really hard for me, but it's a big picture kind of thing. My rules of fandom for the World Series are to root in the following fashion:

1) Root for the Cubs, they're my team, but since they haven't been in the world series since Hiroshima and Nagasaki were safe places to drink the water, that one rarely comes into play.

2) Gotta root for the National League team. My team is NL, I gotta root for my Conference (except for the St. Louis Cards) for the same reason I cheer for the NFC in the Super Bowl (unless it's the Cheeseheads) and the East in the NBA Finals and the Pac-10 (even ASU occasionally).

3) Always root for the underdog. It makes it a little more exciting to cheer for the team that doesn't have a chance, and you can feel a little more of the excitement.

4) Always root against the Sox, the Yankees, the Cardinals, and the Southside Sox, these are the teams I hate and will not budge on this fact.

With all of that said, the Rockies can NOT win this series for the sake of my mental health. I've waited 99 seasons for a World Series (well maybe not me personally, but my geneology and my franchise). The last decade of World Series Champions has been killing me slowly year by year and it has to stop now.
1997 - Florida Marlins took them 4 years to win a World Series, not fair.
1998-2000 - ok we get it, the Yankees are good, they already had 36 championships, why did they need 3 more, and in a row no less.
2001 - Arizona Diamondbacks, I cheered for the D-Backs, they fit into all 3 categories plus they're the hometown team and I had to cheer for Mark Grace, but they had only been in existance for 3 years.
2002 - the Angels, this is probably the only one in retrospect that I'm ok with, been in the league somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 years, hadn't even been there before. The only downside was the stupid Rally Monkey on my TV screen for a week, but I dealt with it.
2003 - Florida Marlins, ripping my heart out, stealing the NLCS away from my beloved Cubs (I have since released blame on Steve Bartman, it was his fault but he was in the wrong place, the 30 other people around him were doing the same thing, he was just the one who decided to fulfil his prophecy as continuing the curse, and Alex Rodriguez, not ARod, should have made that stop at short to end the inning), plus now the Marlins have won as many championships as the Cubs in 90 less seasons, not ok.
2004 - BoSox end their long streak and curse.
2005 - SouthSox end their streak, not to mention they're our crosstown rival
2006 - inter division rival wins theirs.

It all made sense, the Cubbies would win it this year to officially make it short of the century mark (though the '94 season was cancelled due to strike and I'm pretty sure we would have won it that year) and cap off a decade of habitually painful World Series stretches.

Well that didn't happen and now I have to watch the Colorado Rockies, a team whose die-hard fans, only sold out two regular season series' - the Yankees, and the last homestand. These are not true fans, how many Larry Walker and Andres Gallaraga jersey's are going to be at the Series. They're historically a joke playing at Coors Canavaral Launch Pad, never stringing together too much of an effort and come in last place for hometown fans. They love the Broncs, the Lanche, and the Nugs more. They cannot continue this stretch of twisting the knife into Cub Fans back. In the name of everything Holy (Harry Caray, Jack Brickhouse, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, Billy Williams, etc) don't let the Rockies win the World Series.
More after the jump...

F*$@ the Red Sox

So I'm watching Outside the Lines today between classes, and of course the Boston Red Sox are on. Now I let them waste my time talking about them because well there's nothing else on television at 12:15pm on a Wednesday and today is the first game of the World Series. But then they pull away to a special about the "Red Sox Fans" and incorporate two "analysts" to examine this apparent phenomenon. They dropped some stupid ass stats like Tampa Bay baseball attendance increases by 54% when the Red Sox are in town, the Red Sox have the most home game sell outs since 2004 out of all MLB teams, and the daunting one about being more "popular" than the "evil franchise" the New York Yankees.

All I have to say is, thank you Outside the Lines for perpetuating these ludicrous, bandwagon following "New Englanders". Is a wonder why every game has been sold out since the Red Sox won the World Series? Sounds like a phenomenon there. It feels like it's the 90s all over again and the Dallas Cowboys have won the Super Bowl for the third time. Don't call these Red Sox followers "fans", don't let them think they have contributed any time in the perpetual let downs that followed them with the "Curse of the Bambino".

Also with the second largest payroll in the league only second to the "Bandwagon" franchise of the Yankees, it's a mystery why they're in this World Series. And although I'm not a fan of Rockies followers, Boston Red Sox "sheep" have brought the idea of the sports fan to a new low. I'm making a deal with God that if I start going back to church, the Red Sox better fall out. Let's see where those "die hard road fans" go if they don't make the play offs next year. Go Rockies.
More after the jump...

A rare double dip

Apparently the self proclaimed “TheBearDown Blogs Biggest Fan” was unappreciative of my, as he put it “sincere and heartfelt” post because he wanted the cynicism that made me famous (in my own eyes) so first here is a list of new rules to live by and thrown in will be random thoughts of the past running list of rules in the world of sports:

1) When returning the opening kick off, go out at the 1, do not score a touchdown, your team will lose, don’t believe me” ask Devin Hester and Tedy Ginn Jr.
2) Whichever team one of us (This applies mostly to myself and his 4Realness) is rooting for in the post-season will lose
3) If your team hasn’t won a championship in over 50 years, it’s cursed (whether it be by Goat, Babe Ruth, or Rocky Colavito)
4) There is no “too far” when dressing to support your team, head-dress for tribe games in your living room – perfect, face-paint and bull-horns for Bulls games at the local pizza place – expected, Buckeye hat, buckeye beads, and a OSU jersey from about 25 years ago that’s 3…well now it’s 2 sizes too big – fantastic, suit and tie of team’s colors for Bears games – excellent.

Interlude #1: (Now Navy Seal) Morgan, a good buddy of ours, had this to say a few years back, “you can’t spell Stud without STD, and you can’t spell Ridiculously Handsome without Gonorrhea”

5) Research on the game at hand and the other team, not just limited to stats and records. How much? At least twice as much time should be spent on this research than on actual time doing work or school work. And you can do this research at work or at school.
6) When none of your teams can get it done turn it into a city argument, your city is always better than someone else’s city. Of course this is easy for me since I rep the teams from Chicago which is the greatest city of all time. The architecture, the food, we got a beach, we get snow, best franchises in the history of sports, and very much responsible for the history of sports (charter member of the NFL and NHL, and professional baseball before the MLB existed.)
7) Invariably, when someone who writes for your home-town news paper thinks that your team isn’t perfect in everyway, they are wrong, but if they write glowing articles about your team that are undeserved, they are a homer. This will never change, sports fans are always right, and sports reporters are usually wrong, unless they agree with us.

Interlude #2: An actual online exchange between myself and 4Real while I was at the courthouse in Phoenix for Jury Duty (DUI Not Guilty in case you were wondering):

Dom: Kill me please, it's 7:45 AM and I’m in a courthouse in Phoenix stuck watching Good Morning Arizona (cheesy morning show) I’m running on 3 and a half hours of sleep and it's almost 100 degrees already

4Real: Umm well that sounds terrible, I on the other hand was up ‘til 5 in the morning drinking with Andy and writing songs for our boy band...I really need to stop drinking

8) Tailgating has nothing to do with where it is, and in fact trucks and SUVs do not need to be there, the only thing necessary for a tailgate is lots of beer, maybe some mixed drinks, some sort of noise on (TV or Radio), someone needs to be noticeably more drunk than everyone else, it needs to be leading up to an event (not even necessarily sports), and it needs to be outside. Possible alternatives to known tailgating

a. Before your buddies last final of his college career
. i. Hopefully he isn’t the one that is more drunk than everyone else
b. Before Graduation
c. Before a Christening
d. Before a Baptism
e. Before a wedding
f. Before a funeral
g. Before a work function
h. Before and after softball or bowling
i. Before getting on a flight to (Vegas, Bachelor party, Guy’s weekend, etc)
j. Before your baby is born

9) Referring to any one as a “young _______” or “next _______” in sports is over, and done with. No more “young Michael Jordan’s” there will never be another Jordan, as we saw with Harold “Baby Jordan” Minor, there is a LeBron James and a Kobe Bryant they are not the “young” or “next” Jordan. The only exception to this is Brian Urlacher referring to Brett Favre as an “Old Tony Romo”, classic on so many levels.
10) Screw the AP, the BCS, the USA Today, and the ESPN polls. Get rid of all of them and go to the Las Vegas oddsmakers poll. These guys don’t have fans to suck up to, no East Coast or West Coast Bias as with the other polls. Records don’t mean anything, it’s about how good the team is, and until we have a playoff system it’s the best thing out there. These guys aren’t placing their vote for their own team or division teams to beef up their points (coaches, BCS) these guys vote based on what they know about the teams which is significantly more than the guys at ESPN. The guys at ESPN make their money reporting about these teams, it doesn’t matter if they’re right or wrong. The guys in Vegas make their money handicapping these teams and it makes a HUGE difference if they’re right or wrong.
a. Here’s their top 25 with the AP ranking to the right:
1. LSU (5)2. Oklahoma (4)3. Ohio State (1)4. Southern California (13)5. West Virginia (9)6. Florida (14)7. Oregon (7)8. California (10)9. Boston College (3)10. Arizona State (12)11. South Florida (2)12. South Carolina (6)13. Missouri (15t)14. texas (19)15. Virginia Tech (11)16. Michigan (24)17. Kentucky (8)18. Penn State (26)19. Auburn (18)20. Kansas (15t)21. Texas Tech (22)22. Tennessee (20)23. Brigham Young (39)24. Georgia (21)25. Hawaii (17)

That’s it for right now.
More after the jump...

Random musings in between sales calls

...a few random thoughts:
Ohio State, do they really have a shot if they play LSU or even Oklahoma? Or are they going to make it in because of tough schedule (Illinois and Michigan still lying in wait) just to get trounced again and they start looking like the Buffalo Bills?

On a related thought, with the Tribe out again, in heartbeaking fashion, and if the Buckeyes go back and lose in the title game again, will that cause suicides throughout Columbus and other reaching parts of Ohio that mirror Heavens Gate? Will black Nike runner shoe sales skyrocket in Feb. after the game, and White PJs (too soon for a heaven's gate joke?)

Let's look at the last few weeks of college football, 5 of the top 10 lose, then 4 of the top 10 lose, then numbers 1 and 2 lose, it's like a cruel formula that's starting to add up, like the college football Gods were just finding a way to ruin college football pools across the country and in turn ruin gambling for a nation of young future gambling addicts.I can't get over it, 10...TEN...top 10 teams have lost to UNRANKED opponents this season, and 6...SIX...times it has been on their own field.

If you could pick one sports reporter/anchor/color guy/analyst etc to do the play by play of your life and capped off with highlights at the end of the night who would it be? I think Kenny Mayne would have to do my highlight real, as for the play by play does it get any better than Keith Jackson, just imagine, Schilders has something important to tell Domschke, she moves in WHOA NELLY she's pregnant, I did not see that coming. Or doing the play by play for one of our beirut games, Fighting through his own mistake of knocking a cup over we're in the 2nd overtime, this is a barnburner here tonight. I wouldn't mind them throwing it to John Clayton to debate my good and bad decisions along with any updated injuries, while just waiting to see if his head actually falls off one day, and then the eventual top 40 highlight show with Chris Rose and Spider Salley.

Is Brett Favre overrated, and I'm not just saying this as a Bears fan, yeah he's the all time touchdowns leader (it took him longer than Marino) but he's also the all time INT leader (and it took him less throws than Blanda), he's in his 78th season and he still throws passes like that one to Urlacher a couple weeks ago, he makes TERRIBLE decisions. And he really needs to retire, I think he's the Emmit Smith of QBs, good but not as great as everyone thinks. Just wait until he's in Arizona, mark my words they went after Montana 12 years ago before he went to KC, they have Warner, and we can't forget Emmit Smith. The Cardinals, really do have the greatest front office, they want the stars but can't afford them, until they're too washed up to play anywhere else then Bowtie Bill (Bidwell) opens the door to overpay them. It's amazing. I heard Howie Long just signed a three year deal in AZ to make a comeback.

Why are my teams always in contention for the overhyped, extremely overpaid players, ARod constantly in Cubs talk, Kobe again re-entering into possible Bulls Uni, Why break up Deng, Gordon, Tryus or whatever ridiculous combination it would take to make this deal, I'll eat crow if he comes and we win a title but didn't we all see how much of a team player he is and the Bulls are the quintessential team. And ARod is a little more understandable, we'd only be getting rid of a lot of money not players, but didn't we struggle enough in October as it is, why not go after a guy who gets better in October, the only benefit to this is seeing a Cub shatter Bonds' *h*o*m*e* r*u*n* r*e*c*o*r*d*

Every week we're getting closer to hearing "and with the 7th pick in the 2008 NFL Draft the Chicago Bears select Brian Brohm, in another QB failure to add to the list, or Darren McFadden, to continue with a longstanding tradition of Heisman winning or finalist running backs or quarter backs to have their career start and end in Chicago, Darren have you met Rashaan Salaam and Curtis Enis yet? Or Brian let me introduce you to Cade McNown and Rex Grossman. They sell programs across the street. I think they'll have an opening in 4 years.

Is it too much to ask to be this guy in 30 years http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3062376

Is this what it feels like to be Bill Simmons getting paid while just writing thoughts on sports and life? Of course I'm not getting paid by ESPN, my musings really aren't that insightful or funny, and no one else is reading it, but still, yeah not really that close, just wait till I do a running diary, that'll show em.

Is it March yet?
More after the jump...

Whatchu Talkin' 'Bout Willis?

Topic: Jacksonville Jaguars: Jones-Drew: the rise of the "little guy"

Let's go over a few people from past and present:

Doug Flutie - The internationally popular liliputian Boston College quarterback slang the 'skin in and out of the United States and won Championships in two countries. Answered the call of the Buffalo Bills post Jim Kelly woes. Also made glorified Frosted Flakes and made it into Maxim's 25 Biggest Short men.

Steve Smith - A personal favorite of mine, a squirrely reciever out of Utah but considered one of the top ten recievers in the league-a position where height usually is a must-Smith helped the Panthers get to the Super Bowl in 2003. Bojangles.

Dennis Northcutt/Syndric Steptoe- Basically the same person...the typical Arizona bred reciever. 5'10" or shorter, fast, with good hands. Both drafted by the Browns. Both started as kick returners. However Northcutt being the veteran, now is in Jacksonville complimenting Jones-Drew's attack by thwarting defenders by running between their legs.

Jacksonville's run-game...is their only game as proven last night during their game against the Colts. And Jones-Drew scored their only touchdown. Now I'm not trying to bag on any of these short NFL players because they're pretty sweet and I'm not gonna claim that my awesome 6'0" frame trumps their shortness, but is the whole idea of tiny NFL players making a ruckus in the league worth all this attention. I liken them to lap dogs. Every now and then it'll bitch some big ass dog that only looks tough and anyone that sees it will run their mouth about it-especially the owner-but when it comes down to it...it reverts to the same issue...they're tiny, chatty, and just begging to get smacked.

However, a little change up could be good, especially if it helps heal a sore spot in a roster as Jones-Drew has for the aging Fred Taylor. I wonder if Lovie Smith will bite on this theory and look up Nick Costa..

What really peeves me is never ending ranting of sports announcers about these napoleonic "powerhouses". Yea the guy is sub par in the height department, and yes he just broke off a nasty ass run/catch/kick/hit/dance. How about just a simple "damn" and if more emphasis is required you could jazz it up with a "dayam". Honestly, the biggest mistake is the under-estimation of these guys, and when you do that, you just feed into that over-sized ego. The minute you take their little bodies for granted, it'll fuck you over. Ask Jack Del Rio...how'd that turn out for them last night?
More after the jump...

God help us...

... A phrase that was uttered...well actually written by my buddy Tanner. It was in regard to an expected addition to my family. Sarcastically (I hope) but I figure it has a more global meaning than he originally intended.

Kevin Garnett's a Celtic...A white guy has been the NBA MVP 3 years in a row...a Canadian and a European...The Colorado Rockies are in the World Series...South Florida was number 2 in the college football polls...5 top ten teams lose one week, 4 the next, and the number 1 and 2 the following week...there is a chance there will not only be a one-loss team in the National Championship but possibly a 2 loss team...sports are upside down all over the place.

The worst part of it all is that not too long ago ESPN and various other news reports discussed sports during their nightly airings. The biggest sports stories were streaks, records, scores, individual performances on the field. Now I listen to sports radio on the way home from work as they discuss the daily Police blotter. The pages of ESPN or FoxSports consist of Pacman Jones "making it rain"...gunfire, and a bouncer at a Las Vegas club will most likely never walk again. More people know the intricate details of that story which ocurred months ago at NBA All-Star weekend in Vegas (a reason Las Vegas should never have a professional sports team) than about the amazing story of Kevin Everett of the Buffalo Bills who began walking last week with assistance when just over a month ago he was in critical condition following an awkward hit in Buffalo's opeing game. These are the off field stories I want to hear about. As much as I rooted against Nebraska in the mid-90's it's hard to forget some of the memorable performances from Lawrence Phillips, of course, all I think about when I hear that name is him throwing his girlfriend down a flight of stairs. The sports magazine TV shows have court reporters and legal correspondants. This is preposterous.

If you make a league minimum (depending on the sport) you make more in a year than I do in 15 at my job, and good for you, the rule is if you can get them to pay it, then you're worth it. I take a cab or walk when I've had too much to drink, why is one of my favorite players, Lance Briggs (Chicago Bear and UA alumn) crashing his Lambo into a tree at 3 AM and fleeing from the scene. You can afford a cab, even with the Franchise tag limiting your funds so. Over a decade ago, when things were different there was an athelete who was ridiculed by some and praised by others for his now famous quote, "I am not a role model". At the time Chuck was a monster on the floor, and twice as brash off of it. I wish we had more players like Sir Charles around today to be role models. Where was Reggie Miller during the Artest "Malace in the Palace" melee a few years back. He wasn't in the stands. He wasn't throwing punches. He was old school, and he knew his place. People are cracking back on Roger Goodell saying he is being too harsh with these players. Maybe Tagliabue should have done something a few years ago so this wouldn't be happening with as much frequency. Children look up to sports stars, all I wanted to do when I was a kid was "be like Mike", like it or not athletes are raising our kids, along with the rest of popular culture, and we need more positive action from them. We need to get rid of this gangsta culture prevalent in todays sports.

One of my all time favorite quotes from a short-lived TV show, Sports Night. Spoken by Casey McCall:

"Look, I got into this because I like getting people to like sports. And I've turned into a PR man for punks and thugs. And any atrocity, no matter how ridiculous, or hideous, or childish, it doesn't matter. I make it sports. Ten-cent bagman whacks a skater's leg with a crowbar, that's sports. Second round draft pick gets cranky in a Houston bar, and that's sports. And let's not forget the mother of all great sports stories - a double homicide in Brentwood. "

Where's Bo, he knew things, he wasn't on the Police Radar (unless it was an ambulance taking him to the hospital after another hip injury or Cops playing Tecmo at the station), Where's Larry Legend playing HORSE with Michael and Earvin (Magic), Who remembers Lil' Penny or Mars Blackmon telling us it's gotta be the shoes, what happened.

Sports used to be about sports, sports facts used to consist of Batting Averages, Field Goal Percentage, and Yards per Carry. Now sports fact consist of suspensions, HGH, and prison sentences.

I'm supposed to raise a child to love sports as much as I do in this culture.

God Help Us.
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Welcome

Welcome to the Beardown.

After years of deliberating, criticizing, formulating, idealizing, bashing, drinking, and mocking; we feel it necessary to supply the unconventional sports blog. The Beardown aims to be the epitome of every sports analysis site without the analysis. You may ask "What is the point then?" For all of us who enjoy sports for everything besides the numbers and the stats, we bring the useless banter of sports bars, tailgates, and gameday get-togethers to your finger tips. We also happened to throw in the spontaneous conversations and sarcastic analysis that flow through our prolific minds day in and day out.

In the wonderful style of the Saturday Night Live sketch "Linda Richmond", topics will post throughout daily, sometimes more than that, drawing from our deepest, darkest gripes, put downs, puns, analogies, and hopefully at some point historically accurate points towards the topic.

but if we're lazy...we may just rant.

enjoy

-BC

More after the jump...