You are One Pathetic Loser

With all the talk recently about how great Boston is as a sports city right now, and being a Chicago fan who is close friends with Cleveland fan, it’s time to show 4 teams from the top 5 losing cities of the last 10 years. (MLB seasons of 1998-2007, NBA, NFL, NHL, seasons of 1997/98-20006/07). There is a chance that there is a city that has more of a losing tradition, if that is the case please let me know. I tried to pick cities with teams in all 4 major sports. Of course, as you’ll notice, there are some stretches the Columbus Blue Jackets being included for Cleveland Hockey, the Florida Panthers and Marlins representing Miami since they both are based in Miami, I think. As for Minnesota, all of the teams are named after the state but again operate out of Minneapolis, I think. And I picked the Cubs for Chicago rather than the White Sox. Buffalo is not included because the Sabres have been decent at times, and there are no other Buffalo teams other than the Bills. I could put the Knicks in there and then pick between the Mets and the Yankees, but neither team is really even near Buffalo, plus New York has professional football and Hockey teams that would make more sense. I thought about including New York but the Yankees seriously destroyed the cities chances in the late 90s. Please let me know if you think that I have made any mistakes with that said, here are the 5 worst cities, in order from worst to best (of the bottom).

Cleveland, Ohio: Home of the Browns, Blue Jackets, Cavaliers, and Indians. Their Total Losing score (which will be explained later) a whopping 229.5. Taking home the worst of the worst, which though a terrible thing to be known for, is also actually a mark for True fans to say look at how bad we are, and I still pay to go to games. I still root with passion. Unfortunately next year when this list is accumulated, I think Clevleland might be replaced by one of the teams lower on the list that is quickly on the rise.

Chicago, Illinois: Home of the Bears, Blackhawks, Bulls, Cubs, and birthplace of most of the US soil Domschke's. Their Total Losing Score a respectable 205.8. Last years Super Bowl run and the 1997-98 NBA Championship keeping them from the top spot, which they should take over next year with the Bears and Bulls keeping alive at the bottom of their respected divisions right now.

Phoenix, Arizona: Home of the Cardinals, Coyotes, Suns, and D-Backs. Their Total Losing Score 172.2. The Cardinals (69.2) and Coyotes (51.9) really did their part to bring down the city but unfortunately for them the Suns have had success, sans title, and the D-Backs have had moderate success with a title.

Minneapolis, Minnesota: Home of the Vikings, Wild, Timberwolves, and Twins. Their Total Losing Score 163.2. It could be a lot higher had it not been for the Moss years for the Nordics, and Garnett’s ability to lead his team to first round playoff losses and 3rd place finishes in the NBA. If I had included this year, the Wolves record would definitely bring down the Minnesota total. Yet another city that could be gunning for the top spot, but the Vikings are Wild Card elligible right now.

Miami, Florida: Home of the Dolphins, Panthers, Heat, and Marlins. Their Total Losing Score a dismal 145.9. Again if we used this seasons numbers they would be much higher with the Dolphins and the Heat both last in their respectable divisions. Unfortunately for Miami the Heat were a playoff team almost every year in a weak conference and they won the title a couple years back.

A Brief overview of the process.

Without getting too in depth I took the overall regular season and playoff records as well as season finishes of each of these teams over the last 10 complete seasons. Successes were subtracted from the total and Failures were added to ensure the highest number at the end was the worst. From there I devised a simple formula and plugged away. Also, as far as hockey is concerned, since we had expansion teams, strike seasons, and rule changes as far as ties and overtime losses. Because of this for the hockey losing percentage it is only counting games with an end result, ties are not included in the final tally (since that is the way that hockey plays the game now). Also, overtime losses are considered losses. So to clear this up we'll take the Blackhawks 10 year record of 269-345-80-44, subtract the ties (80) completely, and add the Overtime losses (44) to the total losses (345). From there the record stands at 269-389. I divided 389 losses by the 658 total games with a decision. And the total was .591, their losing percentage. The formula took all things into consideration.

(Losing Percentage x 100) – (Playoff Appearances) + (Last Place Finishes) – (Championships x 10) – (1st Place Finishes) – (Playoff Series Wins) + (Seasons Not Played x .5) – (Championship Appearances)

And yes, Championships x 10, because if you win it all, that's the opposite of being a losing city. Perhaps that will be adjusted if I get enough complaints.

To Plug in Numbers to show how this works we’ll use the Browns (the highest Total Losing Score of all teams):

(.687 x 100) – (0) + (5) – (0 x 10) – (0) – (0) + (2 x .5) – (0) =
68.7 + 5 +1 = 74.7

Another example, the Heat, the lowest Total Losing Score:

(.431 x 100) – (8) + (0) – (1 x 10) – (6) – (8) + (0 x .5) – (1) =
43.1 – 8 – 10 – 6 – 8 – 1 = 10.1

The Following are the Total Losing Scores for Each Team Involved out of the Maximum 110 (10 straight winless seasons and last place finshes):
Browns: 74.7
Blue Jackets: 68.5
Cavaliers: 49.1
Indians: 37.2
Bears: 51
Blackhawks: 60.6
Bulls: 45.6
Cubs: 48.6
Cardinals: 69.2
Coyotes: 51.9
Suns: 22
D-Backs: 28.5
Vikings: 33
Wild: 53.2
Timberwolves: 34.8
Twins: 42.2
Dolphins: 36
Panthers: 58.6

Heat: 10.1
Marlins: 41.2

I guess It's true what they say. Cleveland really is the Mistake by the Mi-lake...for now. And I just gotta throw in the new Cleveland motto...Believe-land.

More after the jump...

Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome

Well, that's not exactly true but I find that quote from that show so funny I decided to make it the title for an article. And with that some quick hits:

Alone...

...On a Thursday night in an important football game THE University of Arizona Kitty Kats vs Oregon Ducks, all the spotlights are on them. F*&K the Ducks. Don't overlook U of A on this one. Here in the Stoops era the Cats have been very VERY inconsistent, and it seems like they never win when they're supposed to, on the flip side to that they have a habit of winning big when they're not supposed to. Don't get me wrong, I don't really foresee my beloved Kitty Kats taking down the Number 2 team in the country led by Heisman Candidate Dennis Dixon, but our boys know when to show up big for big games. Yeah Stoops record over the last 4 years (12-22) is not the greatest. But upon closer inspection:
2004, His first season defeats #20 ASU
2005, Defeats #7 UCLA 52-14 in a seriously impressive win (as I have mentioned before, great game)
2006, An impressive upset of #8 Cal (as well as a victory @ #25 Wazzu)
These all share a few characteristics:
Ranked Opponent: #20, #7, #8
Huge Games: Rivalry game, Homecoming, Homecoming
Where: Home, Home, Home
TV: Yes, Yes, Yes
Lets look at tonight's game:
Ranked Opponent: Check, #2
Huge game: Check, Big Thursday Night Game
Where: Check, Home
TV: Check, ESPN

And let's not forget Oregon is # 74 in Total Defense allowing over 400 ypg (yards per game) and over 5.4 ypp (yards per play) and they're 105th against the pass allowing almost 13 yards per completion and almost 270 ypg. Meanwhile in lowly Tucson, the Kitty Kats are 9th in the Nation in Passing offense averaging 316 ypg in the air. If the Arizona Defense led by Spencer Larson and Antoine Cason can shut down Dixon and Jonathon Stewart at all, they have a serious chance. Plus Arizona's passing attack centers on a couple of deep bombs to break up the Defense and short passes meaning serious Time Possession, limiting Oregon's time with the Ball will work out for Arizona.
By no means am I guaranteeing an upset, but it wouldn't be the first time Stoops Troops made some noise on the big stage.

Alone...

...at the bottom of the Eastern Central Division, the Chicago Bulls. It's time to make some noise and move up. No more trade talks, it's time boys you always start slow, well now's the time for that yearly push. Not likely though seeing that they are beginning their tumultuous November Road Stretch.

Alone...

...at the bottom of the NFL, The Miami Dolphins, really pushing for the 0-16, Running the table in the opposite direction, something many of us have been waiting a long time for, we just need a little help from a few teams (the Pats losing, and everyone else beating the Fish) and The Dolphins will not only have the only undefeated team in NFL history but on its' historic 25th Anniversary, they will have the only 0-16 team ever.

Alone...
...Atop the NBA the Boston Garnetts. This team is incredible. Three stars forming together at the perfect time for some outrageous chemistry and selflessness leaving them to dominate everyone else. I knew this team was going to be good, but not this good. And I have always liked Garnett so good for him. On a sidenote my early pick for GM of the year...not Danny Ainge who picked up Garnett and Allen to forge this unholy union, but other Former (and possibly current) Celtic, Minnesota GM Kevin McHale for guaranteeing a successful Celtics team with that trade. How did he let that deal happen. I know what he was thinking, I can take a job in Minnesota, sit around for a few years and the *BAM* ship my best player to the Celtics. I half expect to walk into his office and see a complete replica of the Parkay floors and Celtic Green everywhere. He's like Sting, everyone thinks he's joining the NWO then *BAM* hits Nash (or was it Hall) with a bat and stays a good guy.

Alone...
...at work. I just heard Star Wars Yoda impersonations between two of the guys I work with. Having a conversation. Why do I work at a software company. I'm the only one here under 30. I hate this place.

Alone...
...in the thought that Colt Brennan is not overrated and unfortunately plays for an underrated Hawaii team. This guy is a class act and will be a good pro quarterback in a pass first offense. Expect him to make some waves on Sundays.

Alone...
...in the thought that Reality TV needs to go bye-bye, especially the Dating shows. These people aren't looking for love. There is what one successful one out of all the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Flavor of Love/I Love New York/Joe Millionaire, etc shows. These people are looking for fame, and shame on you, America, for giving it to them.

Alone...
...at the bottom of their storied tradition, Notre Dame, playing for it's second win of the season, and it's not week 3 or 4. There are rebuilding years and there are tear it down, play somewhere else for a year and come back years. This is the latter, everyone knew it was going to happen, but who would have guessed they were going to lose 2 to the service academies. The fact that GaTech (6-4, 3-4) was ranked #21 after beating them and that team hasn't really impressed again all season, and really didn't deserve to be 21st, and especially didn't deserve to be 15th after defeating Samford to go 2-0.

I guess being lonely sometimes is Super Awesome (Pats, Celts, and hopefully another Huge Upset at Arizona Stadium tonight). As Always GO CATS!!
More after the jump...