Blame it on Mexico...

Back in 1991 one of the greatest men to grace the stage in a cowboy hat released one of my favorite songs.


"Blame it on Mexico if you need a reason, Say too much guitar music, tequila, salt and lime. Blame it on Mexico, but she's the reason."


Now it appears that quoting George Strait is the fun thing to do when covering sports. Sure it's a little ironic that its a Cowboys player getting wrecked by the lyrics of a country song, but let's be honest here. Bromo heading to Cabo was not the reason the Cowboys lost yesterday. The G-Men played a great game and did what they knew needed to be done. They pressured the hell out of Romo. I reiterate, it is not Tony's fault that the Cowboys lost yesterday, he was getting a tremendous amount of pressure and needed his receivers to step up which they failed to do. He also needed his offensive line to show up, which they failed to do. 11 penalties on the offensive line, and a couple of sacks amongst constant pressure. Sure it's easy to take a line from one of country music's greatest but let's be honest. It wasn't like Romo was out of control, he went with Jason Witten, his wife, Jessica, and Jessica's Parents. I don't forsee a lot of craziness, maybe a few Coronas on the beach while playing pictionary. But I digress the real shocker here is not that the Boys lost or even that they haven't won a playoff game since 1995. The Shocker is T.O's post-game comments while hiding tears behind dark sunglasses.


"This is not about Tony. You guys can point the finger at him. You can talk about the vacation. And if you do that, it's really unfair. It's really unfair. It's my team. It's my quarterback. If you guys do that, man, it's unfair. We lost as a team. We lost as a team, man."


What?


I think Donovan McNabb and Jeff Garcia just had a combined guffaw the likes of which none of us have ever seen. What is T.O. on? This is the guy who chased McNabb up and down the sidelines in Philly. Called Garcia out, and is sobbing over the mistreatment of Bromo. Is anyone else as confused as me?
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Winners go home and F the Prom Queen

Why is Bromo smiling? I think it's a pretty easy question to answer. No it's not because he's an NFL starting quarterback, but that helps. I don't think it's because he is on a Dallas team that is looking at the NFC Championship game already. I think it has more to do with the last year he's had. It's been a whirlwind where the undrafted Sigma Pi man out of Eastern Illinois made his way to replace the former 1st rounder Drew Bledsoe, and in the year since then he has been linked to Carrie Underwood, Sophia Bush, and now Jessica Simpson. Despite what T.O. says who wouldn't want to be romantically linked to Ms. Simpson. Of course that got me thinking how is it a man can get 3 ladies of that caliber. Underwood, Bush, and Simpson, in one year no less. And then I realized, the Quarterback always gets the girl. Don't believe me, look back at your High School.

I remember being a Freshman and John Rattay (Brother of NFLer Tim) had one of the hottest girls in school at his side. Of course when my buddy Wes took over, he had options but no game. At U of A, the third stringer, Adam Austin, had a cutie on his arm for the last couple years. There is something about Quarterbacks and having some innate ability to pull hot chicks.

Speaking of Tim Rattay, he belongs on this list, his wife Allison (at right) seems to be a pretty good looking piece, unfortunately this was the only picture I was able to find, but that's not the end of the list of back-ups with hot girlfriends/wives. Tim Hasselbeck's wife, Elisabeth, of The View and Survivor fame isn't too bad, and neither is "Free Agent" Tim Couch's wife, the former Barker Beauty and 1999 Playboy Playmate of the Year, Heather Kozar (Left). No relation to fellow former Browns 1st round pick signal caller Bernie Kosar, strictly coincidental. Couch isn't the only NFL QB able to pull one of Hef's ladies. The obviously heterosexual, again despite what T.O. says, Jeff Garcia had a little luck with one of the magazines beauties. He recently married the 2004 Playmate of the year, Carmella DeCesare. (Right).

These aren't the only QBs who have a pretty face waiting for them when they get home. Former Broncos/Cardinals/Buccaneers Quarterback, and Current Handball upstart, Jake Plummer, made waves when he started dating his current wife. Former Broncos/current handball cheerleader Kollette Klassen. (Left) I wouldn't mind running into her combing the halls of the United States Handball Association Hall of Fame located right here in Tucson, AZ. We all know about Matt Leinart's connections with Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears, which is fine, he's a young guy but how many of us out there are aware of who his baby momma is? To answer that one for you it's Brynn Cameron (Right). The USC women's Guard is the mother of Cameron Leinart, and ain't too bad on the eyes either. And then of course there is Tom Brady the "Father of the Year" (ditching Bridget Moynahan when being told she was pregnant) who is currently with super-hottie Giselle. How can you not hate Tom Brady.

So what's the point of all of this? Well Hesiman Trophy winner Tim Tebow has been getting lots of google searches, primarily for stats and mock drafts, but an increasing number of those searches are pre-destined to land on this picture of Tim Tebow, with a very well endowed female counterpart. Double D-Bow is getting an early start on the Professional tail, but it looks like he'll be in good company. Whether they're a career back up, retired, a "free agent", undrafted, skipped over by every team 5 times, and some 6, a journey man, an ex-CFLer, these guys all have one thing in common. The lovely ladies flock to them. Also there is something to be said about guys named Tim and Tom playing QB and pulling ass, I count 5 on my list, I think I just found the name if I have a son.

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Yoko, Jessica, Jessica, Yoko

Something really ridiculous, and I can't believe I'm posting this however entertaining as it may be, Romo may be the new Lennon of the Cowboys. Romo and his team make BEAUTIFUL music together when being left alone, only to be eclipsed by the best team in the NFL - I'll liken them to the Rolling Stones or something British like Fish 'n Chips. But as the 'Boys season goes on, and Romo gets more popular - he's beginning to attract many girls, maybe the japanese, artsy, communist supporting types. But for right now he's sticking to the American, Blonde, Pop star, politic-deficient types. However could the Eagles be their "Catcher in the Rye"-obsessed stalker? Carrie Underwood attended last years Eagles game only to see the 'Boys lose at the hands of Eagles. Crazy coincidence this year, as Jessica Simpson came to the games to again...watch the 'Boys demise. Now, it's offensive to compare either of these girls to Yoko, but in the same breath it's pretty offensive to compare Yoko to these girls. Damn double edged swords. Brother Romo, fuck chicks dude, just dance
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NFL Weekend Wrap-up

The NFL had all but faded away in the big picture of sports. Few cared about the professional gridiron with everything else going on. The college football season that was (upsets, ever changing polls, bowl season for many) and the college football season that wasn’t (Hawai’i, among a few other programs being shafted in the championship picture, Michigan losing it’s first 2 games after being a preseason #5). The Mitchell investigation stealing time away from the NFL stories on many a radio, internet, ESPN, and blog posting. Tiger being the best in the game, again. So many sports stories taking the front page, a lot forgot about America’s true past-time. And then this weekend happened.

1) The Miami Dolphins win, ending they’re stretch at the most futile team to step on the turf. The game winning TD in overtime against the Ravens, a 64 yard TD pass to Greg Carmarillo. His 4th career reception came at a very opportune time for the Fins. They managed not only to avoid the 0-fer mark but they also managed to squeak out a win in the 14th game, so as not to tie the previous mark of 0-14 by the 76 Bucs. Did I mention that this win came at the hands of the Ravens team who 2 weeks ago almost, and could have beat the Patriots if not for a few stupid penalties. My personal favorite quote from the affair came from the former Fins DE Jim Mandich, in attendance with most of the rest of the ’72 Fins celebrating their 25th anniversary of the season, "One-and-15, is just another forgotten, bad season… you had the perfect-season Miami Dolphins, and the fear in the back of your head that it could be the win-less Miami Dolphins in the same building, was something I didn't want to talk about for a long time.” Pretty much summing up the fact that his ’72 team was incredible, and that this team was destined to lose the next two, the winner of 2007’s backhanded compliment award. If only the Ravens could have pulled out that win 2 weeks ago, even more glaring. They could have been responsible for ending both perfect seasons.

2) The Jacksonville Jaguars are 10-4 after a good victory over the once mighty Steelers (0-2 in the last 2) and primed to make a strong playoff push in the increasingly comparable AFC. Who saw that at the start of the season? I’ve always thought Del Rio would be able to do something there, it looks like he’s finally doing something right.

3) The Cleveland Browns. Now 9-5 after an 8-0 whooping of Buffalo in a winter wonderland, play the Bungles and the Niners, pretty much ensuring their second playoff appearance since they re-entered the league. You have to cheer for this Browns team. Destined to mediocrity over the last few years, and starting as an expansion team with a storied history not too long ago. The only downside is how this team will falter in the playoffs. I think this would be the best story if they could pull off a Super Bowl win after all that has gone wrong in Cleveland over the last 25 years, but history is not on their side. If you look at major accomplishments over the last quarter of a century featuring a team from Cleveland, they are usually involved on the right side of the post-game column.

4) The fourteenth game of the century this season, once again featuring the Patriots, in the epic battle of Man-genius vs. the Hoodie. In what many thought was going to be the biggest blowout since the forward pass was invented (it opened in Vegas at 27.5) the Pats pulled out a simple 20-10 victory. And Embattled Chad Pennington actually outplayed the GQ Cover Boy Tom Brady.

5) Carolina beat Seattle, further confusing everything in NFC playoff picture, under the apparently competent arm of Matt Moore (official ESPN.com picture at right), their 4th starting QB of the season. The undrafted Free Agent completed 19 passes for 208 yards and no INTs. Is this the next Tony Romo? Probably not but if it is I get credit for calling it first.

6) Jon Kitna might need to ask for a little more help from the Guy Upstairs. The Lions, who tricked many after the 6-2 start to the season, have returned to the real Matt Millen era Lions we all know and love after losing the last 6, most recently to the Bolts 51-14.

7) Bromo needs to stop bringing girls to the game to watch him. With the gorgeous Jessica sitting in a suite upstairs in her pink Number 9 jersey, Bromo put on a show with 0 TDs and 3 Picks in Dallas’ second loss of the season. In last year’s December Philly game in Dallas when Carrie Underwood was in attendance, Romo’s boys lost and he posted a sub 50 QB rating. This year, same game, new gal-pal, the star of Blonde Ambition hitting the shelves at the Hollywood Video near you, Romo posted a career low 22.2 rating. In those two games combined he’s 27 for 65 for 356 yds 1 TD and 5 picks. Stop playing the Eagles in December at home. Stop bringing your blonde, singer girlfriends to the game. Stop throwing picks. Although I didn’t mind the camera flashing on either one of them repeatedly.

That’s a quick overview of this weekends NFL action and now you’re all caught up ready for post season action. Bears V. Nordics tonight, Orton is starting. Are you ready for some football? Stay tuned for a more in depth breakdown of the dismal Cleveland luck of recent years. If I don’t get to it sometime soon, I’m sure 4 Real might make a guest appearance to put one up.

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