Like I Told You: I Put the Real in Reality TV

Well I wanted to just take a minute and brag about my seemingly never-ending ability to make expert picks. Whether it be baseball, college football, or in this case Reality TV. If you have been a loyal reader than you remember my post back in November in which I put odds on all of the contests for the fourth season of Project Runway. Dom has given out numerous blows to Reality TV shows and those who watch them. I on the other hand embrace them, especially since the majority of them are based on competitions of one sort or another. I just can’t imagine the hit that Dom’s manhood would take if he were to admit to watching or even eluding to the fact that he might be interested in watching a reality show like Project Runway. You can’t knock him too hard though he doesn’t exactly have the Renaissance man like qualities, or any of the other intangibles that it takes to be secure like myself. In the spirit of making anything a bet, a pool, or any other gambling scenario (if it were legal of course) I now give you the results of my latest reality predictions.

General Reality Rule: Every show comes down to a final three in a finale in which one is eliminated and then a winner is chosen dramatically from the final two.

Going into the Finale of Project Runway I had my #1 Rami, #2 Christian, and #5 Jillian in the final three. Remember these picks were based off of the first episode, and I did not change them midseason otherwise I definitely would have altered them slightly.

First to be cut is….Jillian. This is where I big ups myself as I now have my #1 and #2 picks left in the final two. Unfortunately or not, #2 Christian took home the title. That is where I would have flip flopped midseason so congrats for him. Uh most of you probably are done reading at this point, but makes no difference because it’s the small victories that taste so good. Just add it to the list of things I’m good at, even though I didn’t think it could get any longer.

Don’t believe me?
Check the Name….I’m Out….
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Random thoughts...

...while juggling packets and sales calls at work.

I'd rather take a bullet than listen to John Tesh.

I hate hold music. It's like the originator of the Ring Back but instead of some obnoxious song heard constantly on every radio station (I'm talking to you Plain White Ts) it's "relaxing" slow jazz or easy listening or something equally as annoying that reminds you of being in a dentists chair. But recently I have been making calls in Texas, and when they put you on hold it's country music, I wish I could ask them to put me back on hold after the call. Which is actually what happens at the beginning of an episode of ABC's new show Carpoolers. Which brings me to my next point.

Who cares who won the Bachelor, here's what you should be watching.

Carpoolers, it's cheesy, you can see the jokes coming, there are very typical sitcom characters (The playboy, the newlywed, the whipped guy, and the mediator who has comedic problems in his own life). 5-6 years ago I wouldn't have given this show a second look, but then again shows like Sports Night and Ed were still on TV and they were far superior. In this day and age of scripted "unscripted" reality TV like The Hills, it's nice to have a half hour to laugh for a change, and you will get a couple of good chuckles per episode. For those of you who need that reality fix, watch E!'s The Soup the recent off-spring of their Talk Soup a great show hosted by Aisha Tyler or John Henson or Greg Kinnear and occasionally by Jerry Springer. Joel McHale is pretty damned funny, "Let's Take Some E!" is a great portion of the show, and you get to watch only the funny parts of all of crap reality TV without sitting through the drawn out handing out of the rose/necklace/syphilis ceremonies. And Speaking of Joel McHale he appeared on the show Pushing Daisies last week which is a good show. It's definitely a little...strange, and a quirky premise, but Chi McBride does a great job being the lead Comic in a fun new show. My only complaint is the Stranger Than Fiction-esque narration "14 years, 3 months, 2 days, and 17 minutes later..." The narration or narrator is not the bad part, I think it's the overly detailed sections. Anyways, give that one a shot. Friday Night Lights has slipped a little this season but if you STILL haven't seen that one go rent/buy season 1 and catch up on season 2, great characters, well written and acted, addictive as sin. ABC's Desperate Housewives for men is another one worth giving a shot, a Big Shot. Big Shots is exactly that, 4 CEOs/captains of industry rich beyond their wildest dreams but have problems with relationships (all 4 have different problems, a couple very unique ones). Chris Titus from the tv show Titus leads the comedic aspect of the cast and Michael Vartan, Dylan McDermott, Joshua Malina fill out the guys who poke fun at themselves and deal with problems. Lastly, is NBC's new Chuck again quirky, funny, great sarcastic moments from TV vet Adam Baldwin (not related to the other Baldwins) and new comer Zachary Levi does a great job as the bumbling semi-spy/nerd herder Chuck Bartowski.

Dixon for Theisman

After tearing his ACL, for reals this time, Dixon, like Theisman (pronounced Theezmin, not Thyzmin like everyone thinks) will not be winning this years Heisman trophy, most likely. Which is a shame because the Heisman is supposed to go to the best player on one of the best teams and is College Footballs version of the MVP. Well if you lose the guy after a Heisman worthy season, and your team loses to an un-ranked team and falters without him, I would say he was the most valuable. Which then proves that he deserves it more than anyone else. But like the BCS, Heisman voting is what have you done for me lately (look at Ohio State being 7th after losing their first game but teams with 1 or 2 losses in front of them in the rankings and having no shot at the title game). Yet another reason we need a playoff system in college football but which will never happen because of the university/NCAA greed of the big bowls.

Heisman Trophy: Now life sized

With that said this year's Heisman will be decided by one performance this weekend wither Missouri's or Kansas'. Whichever team wins will be directly impacted by Chase Daniels (tiptoes away from 6'0") and Todd Ressing (5'11" when he spikes his hair). Two of the top teams and since most people outside of Louisiana can't name LSU's offensive leaders, or even anyone other than Jacob Hester, the #1 team is out of the running. Which leaves us at whichever team is #2 at the end of this weekend and their best player. This will mean that either Daniels or Reesing who few people outside of their respective schools/hometowns knew in Auguest will win the Heisman Memorial Trophy. I guess it's a fitting end for this year's football season.

Futbol GOOOOOOOOOL

I see that some of our readers have been coming in from Brazil among other places in South America so I thought a Soccer column might be in order. Unfortunately I know next to nothing about soccer and what I do know, is pretty much jokes about the sport and the hooligans who watch it. So I'll end this with a quote from one of the greatest shows of all time, Sports Night "We'll bring you the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and because we've got soccer highlights, the sheer pointlessness of a zero-zero tie. "

This is starting to get long so I'll save the rest for a later date, and end with another quote from Sports Night as was edited by Micah Zahler. "If you've had half as much fun reading this as I did writing it, well then I had twice as much fun writing it as you did reading it." See you tomorrow Sports fans.

More after the jump...

Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome

Well, that's not exactly true but I find that quote from that show so funny I decided to make it the title for an article. And with that some quick hits:

Alone...

...On a Thursday night in an important football game THE University of Arizona Kitty Kats vs Oregon Ducks, all the spotlights are on them. F*&K the Ducks. Don't overlook U of A on this one. Here in the Stoops era the Cats have been very VERY inconsistent, and it seems like they never win when they're supposed to, on the flip side to that they have a habit of winning big when they're not supposed to. Don't get me wrong, I don't really foresee my beloved Kitty Kats taking down the Number 2 team in the country led by Heisman Candidate Dennis Dixon, but our boys know when to show up big for big games. Yeah Stoops record over the last 4 years (12-22) is not the greatest. But upon closer inspection:
2004, His first season defeats #20 ASU
2005, Defeats #7 UCLA 52-14 in a seriously impressive win (as I have mentioned before, great game)
2006, An impressive upset of #8 Cal (as well as a victory @ #25 Wazzu)
These all share a few characteristics:
Ranked Opponent: #20, #7, #8
Huge Games: Rivalry game, Homecoming, Homecoming
Where: Home, Home, Home
TV: Yes, Yes, Yes
Lets look at tonight's game:
Ranked Opponent: Check, #2
Huge game: Check, Big Thursday Night Game
Where: Check, Home
TV: Check, ESPN

And let's not forget Oregon is # 74 in Total Defense allowing over 400 ypg (yards per game) and over 5.4 ypp (yards per play) and they're 105th against the pass allowing almost 13 yards per completion and almost 270 ypg. Meanwhile in lowly Tucson, the Kitty Kats are 9th in the Nation in Passing offense averaging 316 ypg in the air. If the Arizona Defense led by Spencer Larson and Antoine Cason can shut down Dixon and Jonathon Stewart at all, they have a serious chance. Plus Arizona's passing attack centers on a couple of deep bombs to break up the Defense and short passes meaning serious Time Possession, limiting Oregon's time with the Ball will work out for Arizona.
By no means am I guaranteeing an upset, but it wouldn't be the first time Stoops Troops made some noise on the big stage.

Alone...

...at the bottom of the Eastern Central Division, the Chicago Bulls. It's time to make some noise and move up. No more trade talks, it's time boys you always start slow, well now's the time for that yearly push. Not likely though seeing that they are beginning their tumultuous November Road Stretch.

Alone...

...at the bottom of the NFL, The Miami Dolphins, really pushing for the 0-16, Running the table in the opposite direction, something many of us have been waiting a long time for, we just need a little help from a few teams (the Pats losing, and everyone else beating the Fish) and The Dolphins will not only have the only undefeated team in NFL history but on its' historic 25th Anniversary, they will have the only 0-16 team ever.

Alone...
...Atop the NBA the Boston Garnetts. This team is incredible. Three stars forming together at the perfect time for some outrageous chemistry and selflessness leaving them to dominate everyone else. I knew this team was going to be good, but not this good. And I have always liked Garnett so good for him. On a sidenote my early pick for GM of the year...not Danny Ainge who picked up Garnett and Allen to forge this unholy union, but other Former (and possibly current) Celtic, Minnesota GM Kevin McHale for guaranteeing a successful Celtics team with that trade. How did he let that deal happen. I know what he was thinking, I can take a job in Minnesota, sit around for a few years and the *BAM* ship my best player to the Celtics. I half expect to walk into his office and see a complete replica of the Parkay floors and Celtic Green everywhere. He's like Sting, everyone thinks he's joining the NWO then *BAM* hits Nash (or was it Hall) with a bat and stays a good guy.

Alone...
...at work. I just heard Star Wars Yoda impersonations between two of the guys I work with. Having a conversation. Why do I work at a software company. I'm the only one here under 30. I hate this place.

Alone...
...in the thought that Colt Brennan is not overrated and unfortunately plays for an underrated Hawaii team. This guy is a class act and will be a good pro quarterback in a pass first offense. Expect him to make some waves on Sundays.

Alone...
...in the thought that Reality TV needs to go bye-bye, especially the Dating shows. These people aren't looking for love. There is what one successful one out of all the Bachelor/Bachelorette/Flavor of Love/I Love New York/Joe Millionaire, etc shows. These people are looking for fame, and shame on you, America, for giving it to them.

Alone...
...at the bottom of their storied tradition, Notre Dame, playing for it's second win of the season, and it's not week 3 or 4. There are rebuilding years and there are tear it down, play somewhere else for a year and come back years. This is the latter, everyone knew it was going to happen, but who would have guessed they were going to lose 2 to the service academies. The fact that GaTech (6-4, 3-4) was ranked #21 after beating them and that team hasn't really impressed again all season, and really didn't deserve to be 21st, and especially didn't deserve to be 15th after defeating Samford to go 2-0.

I guess being lonely sometimes is Super Awesome (Pats, Celts, and hopefully another Huge Upset at Arizona Stadium tonight). As Always GO CATS!!
More after the jump...