...while juggling packets and sales calls at work.
I'd rather take a bullet than listen to John Tesh.
I hate hold music. It's like the originator of the Ring Back but instead of some obnoxious song heard constantly on every radio station (I'm talking to you Plain White Ts) it's "relaxing" slow jazz or easy listening or something equally as annoying that reminds you of being in a dentists chair. But recently I have been making calls in Texas, and when they put you on hold it's country music, I wish I could ask them to put me back on hold after the call. Which is actually what happens at the beginning of an episode of ABC's new show Carpoolers. Which brings me to my next point.
Who cares who won the Bachelor, here's what you should be watching.
Carpoolers, it's cheesy, you can see the jokes coming, there are very typical sitcom characters (The playboy, the newlywed, the whipped guy, and the mediator who has comedic problems in his own life). 5-6 years ago I wouldn't have given this show a second look, but then again shows like Sports Night and Ed were still on TV and they were far superior. In this day and age of scripted "unscripted" reality TV like The Hills, it's nice to have a half hour to laugh for a change, and you will get a couple of good chuckles per episode. For those of you who need that reality fix, watch E!'s The Soup the recent off-spring of their Talk Soup a great show hosted by Aisha Tyler or John Henson or Greg Kinnear and occasionally by Jerry Springer. Joel McHale is pretty damned funny, "Let's Take Some E!" is a great portion of the show, and you get to watch only the funny parts of all of crap reality TV without sitting through the drawn out handing out of the rose/necklace/syphilis ceremonies. And Speaking of Joel McHale he appeared on the show Pushing Daisies last week which is a good show. It's definitely a little...strange, and a quirky premise, but Chi McBride does a great job being the lead Comic in a fun new show. My only complaint is the Stranger Than Fiction-esque narration "14 years, 3 months, 2 days, and 17 minutes later..." The narration or narrator is not the bad part, I think it's the overly detailed sections. Anyways, give that one a shot. Friday Night Lights has slipped a little this season but if you STILL haven't seen that one go rent/buy season 1 and catch up on season 2, great characters, well written and acted, addictive as sin. ABC's Desperate Housewives for men is another one worth giving a shot, a Big Shot. Big Shots is exactly that, 4 CEOs/captains of industry rich beyond their wildest dreams but have problems with relationships (all 4 have different problems, a couple very unique ones). Chris Titus from the tv show Titus leads the comedic aspect of the cast and Michael Vartan, Dylan McDermott, Joshua Malina fill out the guys who poke fun at themselves and deal with problems. Lastly, is NBC's new Chuck again quirky, funny, great sarcastic moments from TV vet Adam Baldwin (not related to the other Baldwins) and new comer Zachary Levi does a great job as the bumbling semi-spy/nerd herder Chuck Bartowski.
Dixon for Theisman
After tearing his ACL, for reals this time, Dixon, like Theisman (pronounced Theezmin, not Thyzmin like everyone thinks) will not be winning this years Heisman trophy, most likely. Which is a shame because the Heisman is supposed to go to the best player on one of the best teams and is College Footballs version of the MVP. Well if you lose the guy after a Heisman worthy season, and your team loses to an un-ranked team and falters without him, I would say he was the most valuable. Which then proves that he deserves it more than anyone else. But like the BCS, Heisman voting is what have you done for me lately (look at Ohio State being 7th after losing their first game but teams with 1 or 2 losses in front of them in the rankings and having no shot at the title game). Yet another reason we need a playoff system in college football but which will never happen because of the university/NCAA greed of the big bowls.
Heisman Trophy: Now life sized
With that said this year's Heisman will be decided by one performance this weekend wither Missouri's or Kansas'. Whichever team wins will be directly impacted by Chase Daniels (tiptoes away from 6'0") and Todd Ressing (5'11" when he spikes his hair). Two of the top teams and since most people outside of Louisiana can't name LSU's offensive leaders, or even anyone other than Jacob Hester, the #1 team is out of the running. Which leaves us at whichever team is #2 at the end of this weekend and their best player. This will mean that either Daniels or Reesing who few people outside of their respective schools/hometowns knew in Auguest will win the Heisman Memorial Trophy. I guess it's a fitting end for this year's football season.
I see that some of our readers have been coming in from Brazil among other places in South America so I thought a Soccer column might be in order. Unfortunately I know next to nothing about soccer and what I do know, is pretty much jokes about the sport and the hooligans who watch it. So I'll end this with a quote from one of the greatest shows of all time, Sports Night "We'll bring you the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and because we've got soccer highlights, the sheer pointlessness of a zero-zero tie. "
This is starting to get long so I'll save the rest for a later date, and end with another quote from Sports Night as was edited by Micah Zahler. "If you've had half as much fun reading this as I did writing it, well then I had twice as much fun writing it as you did reading it." See you tomorrow Sports fans.