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Seriously, Mini-Golf leads to dangerous, dangerous things. You know what I'm talking about. Putt-Putt seems like innocent fun, but if you're not careful you know where you'll wind up. That's right, the driving range. Sure it seems simple at first, just take the clubs over and swing away a little bit. It relaxes you, you feel loose after and got some stress out. It feels good. Then you're going more often, skipping class or leaving work early to hit a bucket.
Hello again everyone, I would like to announce my Triumphant return to The BearDown. The last few weeks have been waaaaay too hectic. For all of you in Colorado, Texas, Tennesse, California, and Arizona I apologize for the ridiculous amount of calls and voicemails. It's my job and I hate it.
After a long hiatus from days off, I finally have stumbled across one. So I thought I'd just gripe about some shoddy article. I've been pretty removed from sports life due to my career choice, and I've been doing light reading every night when I get home, but this Sports Illustrated article really has me worked up - or as much as I can get worked up on a Saturday Morning at 8:30. The article is named: Extra Mustard - 25 Toughest Athletes and is the most half-assed list ever constructed. Now I remember a few months back when Matt from WithLeather.com was at the ESPN SuperBowl bash at the Convention Center, and a certain ESPN writer commented on how bloggers and their shoddy compositions we're mediocre at best since there are no editors to help refine their works - AND that ANYBODY can write about something. Apparently SI's online sect has tried to mock the Cracked.com style of "Top -insert number and thing here-" lists and horribly failed. Let's look at who SI thinks is "tough"
1. Tiger Woods
2. Lance Mackey
3. Anderson Silva
4. Bob Sanders
5. Zdeno Chara
6. Steve Smith
7. Allen Iverson
8. Fedor Emelianenko
9. Floyd Mayweather
10. Chrissie Wellington
11. Chris Chelios
12. Olin Kreutz
13. Kobe Bryant
14. Marion Barber
15. Kelly Pavlik
16. Trevor Brazile
17. Aaron Rowand
18. Ron Artest
19. Kelly Gregg
20. Hayley Wickenheiser
21. Steve Hutchinson
22. Tony Stewart
23. Josh Beckett
24. Rafael Nadal
25. Joey Chestnut
What makes him tough: Intestinal fortitude of the highest order. Aptly nicknamed "Jaws", this dynamo of competitive eating last year ingested -- among other things -- 8.6 pounds of asparagus in 10 minutes, 182 chicken wings in half an hour, 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes, and 103 Krystal hamburgers in eight minutes, living to tell each time.
Defining moment: Ending Kobayashi's six-year hold on the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island last year. Only one month after setting a world record of 59 ½ tubes of beef, sodium, fat and nitrates in 12 minutes, Chestnut inhaled 66 in the same span without reviewing any of them.
Old school match: Babe Ruth, who was renowned for gargantuan appetites that moved a teammate to say, "If you cut that fat slob open, half the concessions at Yankee Stadium would come pouring out."
*quotes from SI.com
Tammy Thomas, a former member of the women’s U.S Olympic team, had gone to trial for perjury as a result of her testimony during the BALCO hearings in 2003. The trial concluded yesterday with federal attorney Jeff Nedrow explaining to the jury that Thomas’ medical records showed she went through a dramatic voice change, suffered from male pattern baldness, and even grew a beard. She has been banned from cycling for life since 2002, and probably rightfully so. This all seems to be a seemingly normal course of events for a steroid hearing, and nothing stuck out to me until a testimony from an Olympic Drug Tester. He testified that during a surprise drug testing visit to her home, she appeared to have come answer the door mid shave. He went on to explain that she still had remnants of shaving cream around her cheeks and ears. Does this sound insane to anyone else? If all the signs that a woman is beginning to have an explosion of masculine features isn’t enough, she is not even careful enough to get the rest of that Barbasol off her face? I’m not condoning steroid use in any way shape or form, but if you’re going to use it especially as a woman you’ve got to be a little more careful when trying to keep in on the down low. It is one thing to get caught, but to get caught cleaning up your 5 o’clock shadow puts you on the Pro side of reasons to thin out the gene pool.
4Real Out....
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It is an Opening Day Extravaganza and I couldn’t be more excited. Every year this weekend makes me remember everything that I love about baseball, but lately there has been a lot of things going on that have changed the way in which the tradition of the game is upheld. One of the biggest things any of my friends who aren’t big baseball fans have against the game is its pace, that it is too slow to watch on TV. This only got me defensive and the wheels turning on Ball Park Atmosphere and everything that goes with it. I have visited a lot of Ball Parks and I’ll try to quickly rundown the categories I put them in when visiting or in the case that I haven’t the image that they portray. Also since it is so difficult to keep up with name changes I added those in as well.
(In No Particular Order Within Tiers)
Opening Day thoughts. Yesterday was opening day, not the games in Japan (when you go back to Spring Training after, it doesn't count as Opening Day). Sunday night in DC was not opening day, it was a regular season game at a new park. Yesterday was Opening Day.
Things aren't looking too good Cub fan.
100 years of losing, and we start out with a 10th inning loss. Kosuke is the new heartbreaker. Going yard (on his 3-3 day) in the bottom of the ninth to tie the game at 3, just gives hope to the Cub fan. Followed by a handful of hits, sacrifies, and runs to have the Cubs lose 4-3. Welcome to the 2nd century of losing Cubs fans. It is still possible that the Cubbies will be 161-1 at the end of the season, but I think it's a higher possibility of another first round loss, if they make the playoffs.
Coincidence?
100th anniversary of Take Me Out to the Ballgame and 100th anniversary of the Cubs not winning. I don't think so. But still I'm not buying my World Series Tickets.
Piece of Crap Eric Gagne is back.
For all the Brewers fans who said I was off saying that Gagne is going to Hurt the Brewers not Help, I guess I told ya so.
It just hurts sometimes.
Listening to Dan Patrick right now, discussing the Cubs game, "Kosuke Fukudome went yard late to tie, and it's a shame they didn't win on that, but what can you say, Typical Cubs. Ouch
Spending issues. Small markets complain to the Evil Empire in New York that things aren't fair. Well welcome to the Anti-New York. Florida Marlins, they spend nothing, get their revenue sharing from the major market teams, and if I were a Marlins fan I wouldn't follow baseball. They win and get torn apart, do nothing for years, win and tear the team apart. It's a Fortune 500 company that declares bankruptcy every 7 years.
Booing the President. President Bush was booed when he threw out the first pitch. I understand being upset with the way things have gone under his administration, I'm not an avid Bush supporter, TRUST ME, but respect the office of the President, don't boo him, the fact that you CAN boo him is just the reason why you shouldn't. Go to Iran go to Cuba go to North Korea see what it's like in those areas, just shut up. Guess what, the recession that we have been in for the last 8 years actually started 9 years ago, under Slick Willy Clinton. Bush got screwed with a great economy that was on it's way down and a terror attack that had to be dealt with. This is not a political statement, I am not a political person, but I do not appreciate disrespect of the office of the President. Also, for those of you who are so Pro-Hillary, look into her heathcare plans, the country is already in debt and recession, and she wants to bring back the same healthcare system that failed in Slick Willies first two terms. It's a bad idea, and it will send the country even lower into debt spending Billions to insure people who don't have insurance. Guess what. I hate my job, I miss my old job where I made approximately the same I do now, maybe more. The reason I got a job, Health Insurance. It's pretty common practice to get Health Insurance with a good job. I'm sick of Free-loaders and welfare cases. Enough of that I suppose.
The Hills.
I was forced, against my will to watch the Hills last night (payback for all of the football and basketball games Sarah has had to Endure. I HATE REALITY TV. Especially The Hills, I want to talk to the people out there who think this show is real and not scripted in any way. IIIII Want to TAAAALK to a HILLLLSSSS VIIIEEEEWWWEER. Plead your case, because this is one of the biggest atrocities to grace a TV screen. I remember when 4Real and Garnes tries to make me watch the Prequel, Laguna Beach, I chose instead to sit in the courtyard of the Frat house, drinking, smoking cigarettes, and waiting for the show to be over. Also, there was a commercial about a new series about the Editor of a School Newspaper. What will MTV do next, and this furthers that if you are over 18 years old you should not be watching MTV. When they are doing a show about the most popular of the unpopular kids in High School, it's the "hey change the channel now" moment, at least to me.
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Hello Again Everybody,
I've been in the Basement for a couple weeks. As opposed to Rome when he goes in the basement (a.k.a unreachable because he is on vacation) I've been swamped with Cold Calls, Baby Showers, getting Married, and all the other things life throws in our way. So here's a few Basketball thoughts.
I hate brackets.
I made a handful of intelligent choices in my bracket this year. I picked some solid upsets, some worked and some didn't, I thought I was on course to have a solid bracket this year. What happened? A trained monkey would be doing better than me. Who honestly, and respectably puts four #1's in the Final Four, it has never happened and it practically promotes a BCS formula for the NCAA Tournament. And 4 #1's are in the Final Four. Dan Patrick had a poll asking if this was good for basketball, the majority said yes, I say no. It buries the cinderella idea despite the showing of Western Kentucky and Davidson (2 of the 5 upsets I picked in the first round I'll have you know).
Arizona Basketball
Ok so Arizona Basketball got bounced in the first round (1 of the 3 first round upsets I didn't get right). 2 weeks removed from the loss and here are my thoughts. I constantly had problems with some of the things that KO did as the coach. Those things are Lack of Bench inclusion and lack of Assistant Coach inclusion. Yes I am a Kirk Walters Honk. I love Big Nasty. He was coming out strong a couple years ago, go brought down by injuries and mono. We needed depth, especially big depth, especially with J-Hill enjoying fouling so much and winding up on the bench for large chunks of the game and Big Brett Brielmeyer going down with a shoulder injury. Unfotunately for whatever reason KO decided he didn't think much of the Nasty One through a good portion of the season and by the time the Cats needed him he was worth less (not worthless) because he had no confidence, no stamina, no nothing, because he had ridden the pine all season. I'm not saying he was a viable starter, but he was one step away a couple years ago, and if I were him I would be pissed. I've been shafted by a coach before, and it is bad. The only hope is that Bayless and Budinger are going to stick around another year because they wanted to play for Coach O, and weren't able to, which leads me to my next point.
Arizona Basketball...Again
Coach O is returning. KO actually did a half decent job with a team that was bound to struggle. would Coach O have taken them further in the tournament? Probably. I'm not saying that they would have beaten West Virginia because you can't stop shooting like they had. But they wouldn't have been playing West Virginia, they would have been a 7 or 6 seed somewhere because they would have had a few more wins during the regular season. They for sure would have beaten Stanford and UCLA in those games that were close. They would have beaten ASU at least once, most likely both times. My only hope is that this disappointing season (as I mentioned) leads to the return of Bayless, Budinger, and Hill. A starting line-up of Wise, Bayless, Jennings, Budinger, and Hill, with some serious talent coming off the bench, coupled with the possible loss of Pac-10 players like Mayo, Collison, Love, and the Lopez's, Arizona has a serious shot at a 1,2, or 3 seed and the Pac-10 crown. Call me a homer, I don't care.
Texas
I had Texas in my Final Four. They were playing at home the entire tournament. Augustine is good, really good. It was one of my intelligent choices. It looked solid until about 4 minutes into the game against Memphis, apparently despite their (prior) smart, efficient play, they couldn't take down the Tigers. I'm looking at best 2nd place in both my brackets, at worst, let's not talk about it. Also, to school administrators in Texas, how bout a call back? I've been leaving messages for all of you for over a week. It's a 2 hour Webinar on April 16th, I promise, it's worth it.
Coach O's Presser
I just got back from a bar (lunch break) watching Coach O's Press Conference. The loser in the Blue Button-up shirt, what the hell were you thinking. I swear to God, every 5 guestions it was his turn and he asked the dumbest questions, and was immediately dismissed by the Hall of Famer. You are a disappointment to many. Also looking back at this season, if Coach O can get back all of his guys, they WILL win 23 games next year AT LEAST and Coach O will further prove that he is one of the best coaches of All Time.
Ok that's just a sampling of recent thoughts. And as I said, Duke was WAY over rated, and I can't wait for them to flail about and lose in the first round in each of the next 6 tournaments.
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