Chicago 2016

There's nothing like a little worldly competition to get one pumped for 8 years from now. This Olympic round I've been doing some comparisons between applicant cities for 2016 and past cities and I've decided that Chicago is the best place to host the 2016 games ( biased? perhaps, but keep reading).

In order for Chicago to host the 2016 games we first must beat out Madrid, Rio de Janeiro and Tokyo- sounds daunting however I have come up with the top tens reasons that Chicago should host the games; here you go:

1. Sports Culture:
Chicago has the best sports culture in the United States; Chicagoans are insane about sports and competition in general. Everything in Chicago turns into a competition: racing to a seat on the L, working your way around a group of tourists that are walking 5 deep on a sidewalk, beating anyone to a cab in -15 degree weather- you get the point. Chicago fans deserve this.

2. Food:
Chicago has the most comprehensive selection of food. During my time abroad I found the food situation to be a little tricky at times ( Italy being the exception- Pasta all day everyday). Spain is famous for their Tapas- but bring in the Germans and serve them 14 plates of small food and there's going to be a beer house riot. Take the Italians to Tokyo and serve sushi it's going to be a St. Valentines Day Massacre all over again, and I'm not sure what they serve in Rio besides steak but it's probably laced with some techno drug. Chicago, has it all - 27 Tapas bars throughout the city, numerous Sushi bars, there's Italian food, Greek food, Arabic food, Mediterranean food, Bratwursts, Hot Dogs (American style not Vietnamese), and if you look in the right spot probably some steak on X. Chicago is like a United Nations for the palate.

3. Transportation:
Tokyo might have us on this one- they have trains that run up to 300 miles, which I'll golf clap you- is awesome. However, let me invite you to ride one of the classiest trains in the world the " L" brought to you by the Chicago Transit Authority- second to none in smart organizational structuring and management.

Here's the deal if Chicago gets the Olympics our taxes are going to sky rocket for Daley's dream of having the most state of the art venues ( which I support, if we're going to invite the world here lets not look like schmucks); therefore the " L" is going to get the major upgrading that it needs. Yes, we have to pay for it, but everyone now is too scared now to talk about raising taxes to fix the "L"- hey I almost fell through a floor board the other day- it's time and if takes the Olympics to make it happen I'm all for it.

Also, Rio's public transportation is not good- there is a forest that separates city life and rural relaxation. The trains are outdated and don't run from major parts of the city to others- it would be a clustered nightmare. Imagine all those people after eating their steak not being able to get back to their hotel- that's a lot of lost foreigners- and a Gypsy's paradise.

4. Venus Williams:
I dislike Venus Williams almost as much as I dislike Aneres ( yes that's Serena spelled backwards, the clothing like brought to you by her equally as annoying and much more talented sister). Venus wants Madrid for 2016. Well I bet you do- they don't think you're as annoying as we do- could you both stop wearing tuxedo's to play tennis in- I don't get it and it's not fashion forward. Therefore, because she supports Madrid everyone else should support anything else.

5. Sports Venues :
Building the venues for the games is going to be pricey no matter where you are, and lets hope that a replica of the "birds nest" is no where to be found in 8 years - although I'll give props to the water cube that's awesome. The venues for certain events ( swimming, gymnastics, athletics (i.e., track and field)) have to be built specially, other events can occur in our already laid out ( goes back to #1) sports venues. Take your pick:

Soldier Field, United Center, Wrigley Field, Allstate Arena, The Cell, Rosemont, Sears Center, Toyota Park, Loyola, Northwestern, University of Illinois Chicago, University of Chicago, Chicago State University, Northern Illinois University and the lovely Lake Michigan.

6. Japanimation:
I don't get it, I don't want to get it, it scares me and therefore the games should be in Chicago.

7. Michael Phelps:
He went to Michigan strike 1, but he's breaking records therefore I can look over his Wolverine past. If he's in Chicago he's easier to find.

8. Bar Wars:
Who doesn't want to see countries compete in Bar Olympics- German's vs. Chicago regulars- It'd be a whole other two weeks.

9. Doping:
Olympic athletes will be sent home in masses for doping if the games are held in Rio.

10. Because it's Chicago<
Enough Said.