Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Top 10 Reasons We All Hate Notre Dame

10. The demands of being Irish-Catholic: Yes, we know that you are a Catholic Institution. Yes, we know that you have a derogatory Irish Mascot. Yes, I happen to be both. No, I don’t feel obligated to support you. Facts show that nearly 14% of the United States thinks they are Irish, and over 26% claim to be Catholic (80 Christian). From my own research 95% of the U.S. thinks they are Irish and 99% of those people claim to be Catholic-ish (Those numbers increase depending on how far you are into the tailgate). Furthermore, you can make anything green, slap a shamrock on it and it will sell. Notre Dame has been abusing that fact for over a century. Seeing Notre Dame apparel is the only time when I wish I wasn’t Irish.

9. Lou Holtz’s Lisp: Listening to this man makes me long for Lee Corso. When did having a speech impediment move you to the top of the list for anything, especially TV analysis. Someone has a pact with a higher power….

8. WWTDJD: How do you like to picture Jesus? Notre Dame likes the Touchdown version the best: Sorry Boston College, Sorry TCU, Sorry SMU, Sorry Villanova, Touch Down Jesus supposedly lives in South Bend. Unfortunately, over the last ten years it appears as though the big guy spent more time watching Boston College games: Since the 97’ season Boston College is 87-48, Notre Dame is 78-56. Plus the way things are going lately looks like he has been in Ohio anyways:

7. Notre Dame is in South Bend which is In Indiana. Anyone that knows me, knows that I have an eternal beef with the state of Indiana. South Bend, not impressed. I spent time in Elkhart, even worse. Worst yet, and my permanent vote for worst city in the United States: Gary Indiana. The whole state smells like home made playdoh. That is why people from Indiana have more narrow faces, it’s just evolution.

6. Heisman Voting : Notre Dame boasts about having the most Heisman Winners in its history with 7 ( Tied with USC and Ohio State who actually has 6 winners and 7 trophies). I have a problem with 2 of their last 3 winners. Lets Start with Paul Hornung who took the Bronze Stiff Arm in 56’. Hornung was the running back for a Notre Dame team that finished 2-8 when he took home the prestigious honor. Who Should Have won? How about Jim Brown? His Syracuse Orangmen went 7-2 that season and were ranked 8th in the country or Johnny Majors from 10-1 1st ranked Tennessee? The next and latest Irish player to win the Heisman was Tim Brown in 87’ making him the first Wide Reciever to win the award.

Brown’s 87’ Stats: 34 Rec 846 YDS 34 PR 401 YDS 144 YDS Rusing 23 KR 456 YDS Total: 8 TDs

Who should’ve won? How about Don McPherson of Syracuse who led the Orangemen to 11-0 regular season before tying Auburn in the Sugar Bowl and finishing 4th in the country. Notre Dame went 8-4 in 87’ ranked 17th in the AP and UR in the Coach’s poll.

Do you like your Shillelagh with Jewels or Without? They play 5 Rivalry Games a Year. That’s right, FIVE. Notre Dame, you are an independent team, you play teams from four or five conferences a year. Did each conference make a case for who hated you more, and thus won the right to be your rival? The State of Michigan has some major problems with you, maybe both states will do us all a favor and wipe eachother out.

Rivalry Games:
Boston College: The Ireland Trophy
Purdue: The Shillelagh Trophy
USC: The Jeweled Shillelagh
Michigan State: The Megaphone

4. Rudy. Pre-Reality TV no one got so far with such little talent. If I remember correctly, Rudy wasn’t good enough to make the team. He stuck around for four years trying, but never made it past the practice squad. Then after long await he got the epitome of pity minutes, earning 15 seconds at the end of the final game of his four year career (remember, on the practice squad) when the game was over and no one was playing. BUT WAIT he shared a sack. If that doesn’t touch you then you are a rational human being. Sorry Rudy, you were never good, and plus the movie definitely isn’t in the top 5 sports movies discussion. Hell, it isn’t even in Sean Astin’s Top 5 best works (Behind the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Encino Man, and the Goonies).

3. They Were Ranked and Your Team Deserved it: I refer you to my previous article about the BCS bias. I also refer you to this database that has ranked the most overrated and underrated teams 1989.

2. They Were in a Bowl Game, Your Team Wasn’t. We make a huge deal out of Hawaii going undefeated, winning a BCS Conference, and getting to play in a bowl. Notre Dame, on the other hand, has gone to BCS bowl games with multiple loses, aren’t in a conference, and have proceeded to lose their last 9 appearances. How can this happen….

1. Money. As if the very fact that Notre Dame has an NBC contract to televise every single home game through 2010 isn’t enough to make you want to convert, it gets worse. In 2004 NBC extended the contract through 10’ after losing the Bowl to Oregon State by 17 points. Wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t their 7th straight bowl appearance loss. Don’t worry they would lose their next two as well. That is enough to make any college football fan mad, but to add insult to injury they receive so much money that they repaint their helmets with real gold before every game. I think there was something in the Bible about worshipping things made of gold but my memory is a little fuzzy.

4Real Out....


OrangeFreak said...

A men.... A men to it all... especially the Jim Brown/Don McPherson points...

Anonymous said...

Most of it is jealousy...!!!! They will rise again...!!!

WeisGipper said...

I didn't know that Arizona had a football team!

Matt Randle "el" said...

once again proving that Notre Dame fans believe they are the only team that exists all while going 3-8

WeisGipper said...

Ok Matt, maybe you are good with numbers, what does 33 and 57 mean? 33 is the number of wins Arizona has had since 2000 and 57 is the number of games the Irish have won during that time.

The Wildcats have .358 winning percentage at the time, compared to ND's .606. And this is during a down time for Notre Dame Football! So what does that have to say about Arizona?

Oh yeah Arizona has not had a winning season since the turn of the century either!

You can hate on ND all you want, but it just proves how much the Irish have a better football program than Arizona.

Heck we might have a better basketball team than you guys too!

4Real said...

Better than Arizona? Congratulations...That doesn't make us love our cats any less. That also doesn't impress me. Now, how would you feel if when you turned on NBC you saw every Wildcat home game? Or how about every year we ended up in a BCS bowl game? Then proceeded to get blown out...lets say for 9 consecutive appearances? You would think it was insane and bias, we would love every single second of it. This is the state of delusion that Notre Dame Fans live in. I almost typed Irish Fans but that's my heritage and I have a lot of fans, and they sir are not delusional.

Matt Randle "el" said...

Seriously, I fully admit our team has been terrible in recent years. Clearly we have not even been competitive for that period of time. As a result we get passed over for TV coverage, recruits and bowl appearances. This article didn't say don't be a fan of your team, it said be a realist and face the facts. You guys are a bottom tier team now just like us! Despite your numerous advantages and opportunities(all undeserved). Come back to the real world and face the facts...Notre Dame is irrelevant and should not walk around like it is LSU, USC or Ohio State...Your not in that league anymore, actually your not in any league..Weird

WeisGipper said...

Well if Arizona had any tradition and history surrounding their football team, maybe then they could of had some television exposure. You, are the delusional one.

Well I seriously doubt ND is irrelevant with back-to-back-to-back Top 5 recruiting classes. Where was Coach Stoops' UA classes at?

Also, you are just like any other anti-Catholic bigot! If some Catholic person posted something like that garbage about jews or some other religious sect, then they would be ridiculed and scorned. Yet, anti-Catholics, like yourself get away with that bs! This has to stop, just like Arizona Wildcats football program. It needs to be stopped because they have never been relevant EVER!

Dom said...

Enough is Enough man. I love Notre Dame and have my whole life. I've been to multiple Fiesta Bowls and the Bowl not too long ago. I went to a High School that wore the Gold Helmet, played the fight song, and stole every single thing they could from Notre Dame and I loved it all but you my friend sound more and more like an idiot, well the idiots that 4Real was talking about in the article. Being a fan is one thing but taking a sracstic Top Ten list, that holds some water based on our beloved Irish's recent troubles (I was the one in a crowded room getting picked on against LSU a couple years ago and sitting at table with Buckeye fans in Tempe at the Fiesta Bowl). Anything that mentions Lou Holtz's lisp as a reason to hate something is clearly meant as a satire and Notre Dame's football team has become as big of a joke as any in College Football. Do I love the fact that Notre Dame is on NBC every home game, absolutely, but if NBC had a contract with the BIG XII or another top tier conference those games would be, as of recent, much more competitive. I love Notre Dame and I will support them as long as I live, but fans with such delusions embarass me. And as for your Anti-Arizona Rants, Arizona had a better record against tougher opponents last year. And as for your catholic bigotry statement you should know that 4Real is most definitely Catholic, thus the joke.

Dom said...

...And don't ever crack back on Arizona Basketball. If you want to talk about sacreligous statements, that takes the cake. For Shame sir, For Shame.

Garnes said...

weisgipper you should change your name it matters, because you don't.

Matt Randle "el" said...

And sadly sir you prove 4Real's point about Notre Dame you have any idea how much that pains Dom...I can't say for sure but I think you just made 4Real's head a tad bigger and he could barely find hat's that fit as it was..Thanks buddy...I am out...I have to visit the statue of J Button Salmon and ask him about our non existent tradition...BEAR DOWN

Anonymous said...

Go Duke!!!!

Anonymous said...

U guys are still big douches! How's that basketball season working for you guys?