You are One Pathetic Loser

With all the talk recently about how great Boston is as a sports city right now, and being a Chicago fan who is close friends with Cleveland fan, it’s time to show 4 teams from the top 5 losing cities of the last 10 years. (MLB seasons of 1998-2007, NBA, NFL, NHL, seasons of 1997/98-20006/07). There is a chance that there is a city that has more of a losing tradition, if that is the case please let me know. I tried to pick cities with teams in all 4 major sports. Of course, as you’ll notice, there are some stretches the Columbus Blue Jackets being included for Cleveland Hockey, the Florida Panthers and Marlins representing Miami since they both are based in Miami, I think. As for Minnesota, all of the teams are named after the state but again operate out of Minneapolis, I think. And I picked the Cubs for Chicago rather than the White Sox. Buffalo is not included because the Sabres have been decent at times, and there are no other Buffalo teams other than the Bills. I could put the Knicks in there and then pick between the Mets and the Yankees, but neither team is really even near Buffalo, plus New York has professional football and Hockey teams that would make more sense. I thought about including New York but the Yankees seriously destroyed the cities chances in the late 90s. Please let me know if you think that I have made any mistakes with that said, here are the 5 worst cities, in order from worst to best (of the bottom).

Cleveland, Ohio: Home of the Browns, Blue Jackets, Cavaliers, and Indians. Their Total Losing score (which will be explained later) a whopping 229.5. Taking home the worst of the worst, which though a terrible thing to be known for, is also actually a mark for True fans to say look at how bad we are, and I still pay to go to games. I still root with passion. Unfortunately next year when this list is accumulated, I think Clevleland might be replaced by one of the teams lower on the list that is quickly on the rise.

Chicago, Illinois: Home of the Bears, Blackhawks, Bulls, Cubs, and birthplace of most of the US soil Domschke's. Their Total Losing Score a respectable 205.8. Last years Super Bowl run and the 1997-98 NBA Championship keeping them from the top spot, which they should take over next year with the Bears and Bulls keeping alive at the bottom of their respected divisions right now.

Phoenix, Arizona: Home of the Cardinals, Coyotes, Suns, and D-Backs. Their Total Losing Score 172.2. The Cardinals (69.2) and Coyotes (51.9) really did their part to bring down the city but unfortunately for them the Suns have had success, sans title, and the D-Backs have had moderate success with a title.

Minneapolis, Minnesota: Home of the Vikings, Wild, Timberwolves, and Twins. Their Total Losing Score 163.2. It could be a lot higher had it not been for the Moss years for the Nordics, and Garnett’s ability to lead his team to first round playoff losses and 3rd place finishes in the NBA. If I had included this year, the Wolves record would definitely bring down the Minnesota total. Yet another city that could be gunning for the top spot, but the Vikings are Wild Card elligible right now.

Miami, Florida: Home of the Dolphins, Panthers, Heat, and Marlins. Their Total Losing Score a dismal 145.9. Again if we used this seasons numbers they would be much higher with the Dolphins and the Heat both last in their respectable divisions. Unfortunately for Miami the Heat were a playoff team almost every year in a weak conference and they won the title a couple years back.

A Brief overview of the process.

Without getting too in depth I took the overall regular season and playoff records as well as season finishes of each of these teams over the last 10 complete seasons. Successes were subtracted from the total and Failures were added to ensure the highest number at the end was the worst. From there I devised a simple formula and plugged away. Also, as far as hockey is concerned, since we had expansion teams, strike seasons, and rule changes as far as ties and overtime losses. Because of this for the hockey losing percentage it is only counting games with an end result, ties are not included in the final tally (since that is the way that hockey plays the game now). Also, overtime losses are considered losses. So to clear this up we'll take the Blackhawks 10 year record of 269-345-80-44, subtract the ties (80) completely, and add the Overtime losses (44) to the total losses (345). From there the record stands at 269-389. I divided 389 losses by the 658 total games with a decision. And the total was .591, their losing percentage. The formula took all things into consideration.

(Losing Percentage x 100) – (Playoff Appearances) + (Last Place Finishes) – (Championships x 10) – (1st Place Finishes) – (Playoff Series Wins) + (Seasons Not Played x .5) – (Championship Appearances)

And yes, Championships x 10, because if you win it all, that's the opposite of being a losing city. Perhaps that will be adjusted if I get enough complaints.

To Plug in Numbers to show how this works we’ll use the Browns (the highest Total Losing Score of all teams):

(.687 x 100) – (0) + (5) – (0 x 10) – (0) – (0) + (2 x .5) – (0) =
68.7 + 5 +1 = 74.7

Another example, the Heat, the lowest Total Losing Score:

(.431 x 100) – (8) + (0) – (1 x 10) – (6) – (8) + (0 x .5) – (1) =
43.1 – 8 – 10 – 6 – 8 – 1 = 10.1

The Following are the Total Losing Scores for Each Team Involved out of the Maximum 110 (10 straight winless seasons and last place finshes):
Browns: 74.7
Blue Jackets: 68.5
Cavaliers: 49.1
Indians: 37.2
Bears: 51
Blackhawks: 60.6
Bulls: 45.6
Cubs: 48.6
Cardinals: 69.2
Coyotes: 51.9
Suns: 22
D-Backs: 28.5
Vikings: 33
Wild: 53.2
Timberwolves: 34.8
Twins: 42.2
Dolphins: 36
Panthers: 58.6

Heat: 10.1
Marlins: 41.2

I guess It's true what they say. Cleveland really is the Mistake by the Mi-lake...for now. And I just gotta throw in the new Cleveland motto...Believe-land.