Monday, January 14, 2008

Bring in Mitchell, He'll Get to the Bottom of this

We've all seen the list:

Barry Bonds, Jason Grimsley, Miguel Tejada, Brian Roberts, Timbaland, 50 Cent, Mary J. Bli...What?

According to the Albany Times Union, which is in fact a real newspaper, the list of linked superstars with steroids and HGH isn't only in the clubhouse. So far Mary J. Blige, 50 Cent, Timbaland, Wyclef, and Tyler Perry have all been linked to a Steroid scandal brewing in Queens, NY. Seriously. Also mentioned, but not directly with the Queens bust, was Sly Stallone (who was linked to HGH in Australia in May 2007).

Do we need to put an asterik next to Timbaland's album sales? Will we have to take back Sly Stallones star on the Walk of Fame (if he has one). At least now we know what's really in that Formula 50 Vitamin Water, 1 part water, 1 part grape flavoring, 2 parts winstrol. Also, this let's us know that one of the unknown side-effects of steroids is being bullet-proof. Sweet.